


yeah you bleed just to know (you're alive)

by orphan_account



Series: (unrelated) songfics [6]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: (its all really vague and hopefully not triggering), Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, its cute i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 23:57:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11611650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Josh likes to punch things.Tyler likes to bleed.They both like each other a little more.It's not what you think.





	yeah you bleed just to know (you're alive)

**Author's Note:**

> fic title is from the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. 
> 
> this story is specifically inspired by these lyrics tbh (which is why it's in my songfics)
> 
> "When everything feels like the movies  
> And you bleed just to know you're alive  
> And I don't want the world to see me  
> 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
> When everything's made to be broken  
> I just want you to know who I am"

Tyler drove a rusty beetle and only listened to old cassettes (mainly because that’s all his car was equipped to play) and wore wool in almost every season. 

Josh drove a rusty pick up and was only allowed to listen to the Christian rock radio station (thanks to his dad tampering with his radio so it stuck on that station) and always wore clothes inappropriate for the season. 

Tyler liked to bleed, he liked to pick at loose threads until he had holes in his sweaters and he liked to drink red bull instead of eat so he could pretend that was why he was shaking like a one-man earthquake. 

Josh liked to punch things, he liked to cut holes in the knees of his jeans even when his mother made him promise not to this time and he liked to hit his drums until his arms didn’t work anymore so he could pretend that was why he was shaking like a one-man earthquake. 

Tyler liked Josh more than he liked the taste of his own blood. 

Josh liked Tyler more than he liked the feel of his knuckles making contact with whatever surface was closest. 

Tyler met Josh while he was on the floor, nose dripping red, laughing almost stupidly. 

Josh met Tyler standing over him, face etched with worry, knuckles split open, heaving and watching someone he didn’t recognise run away holding his potentially broken jaw. 

Tyler’s mom doesn’t care that he comes home covered in blood. 

Josh’s mom cares too much that he comes home with bruises. 

Tyler has it under control. He promises. 

Josh has it under control. He promises. 

Tyler climbs tress, buildings, billboards, anything he can find and he stands at the highest point and watches the tiny pathetic human race and he pities them, because it’s better than pitying himself. 

Josh stands below trees, buildings, billboards, anything Tyler can find and he watches Tyler, thinks about climbing up too (sometimes he does) and he watches the now tiny sad boy and he’s in awe of him, because he’s the most fascinating man Josh has ever met. 

Tyler sneaks out at night, in Josh’s pick-up and they cruise through downtown and get drunk at college parties and sometimes high and then Tyler doesn’t need to bleed. 

Josh sneaks out during school hours, in Tyler’s beetle and they go to the middle of nowhere and make out on the backseat until they’re naked and panting and his knuckles are white around the ripped leather of the seats and then he doesn’t need to punch anything. 

Tyler doesn’t want to feel like bleeding is the only way to feel free. 

Josh doesn’t want to feel destructive whenever he gets anxious. 

Tyler takes Josh to a doctor. 

Josh flushes Tyler’s blades. 

Tyler’s beetle breaks down, and so does he. The two aren’t related. 

Josh’s dad finds out he keeps sneaking off to see Tyler, and Josh’s dad confiscates his car keys. The two are very related. 

Tyler misses Josh.

Josh misses Tyler.

Tyler drinks until he falls and almost cracks his skull open. 

Josh runs through the hospital like some horrible slow motion cliché, heart in his throat. 

Tyler isn’t dead.

Josh doesn’t stop crying when he finds out. Doesn’t stop until he’s wrapped around Tyler’s thin frame on the hospital bed. A tangle of limbs and wires and soft breaths. 

Tyler gets help. 

Josh is proud. 

Tyler finds an alternative way to bruise and bleed. 

Josh covers him in hickeys and lets his nails split open Tyler’s skin, he smirks as Tyler eyes his handiwork in the mirror, heart hammering as he asks for round two with a lip bite. 

Tyler tires Josh out until he can’t do anything other than desperately plead for cuddles and falls asleep in Tyler’s bed, mouth open, drooling just a bit as Tyler runs a hand through his soft curls. 

Josh doesn’t need to punch things anymore, he’s too distracted by watching Tyler’s perfect nose twitch as he dreams, too distracted by his touch and kiss and the way Tyler likes when Josh pulls his hair and bites his lip enough to draw a little blood. 

Tyler doesn’t like to bleed; he just wants to feel alive. Josh helps. 

Josh doesn’t like to punch things; he just wants to stop feeling overwhelmed. Tyler helps. 

They love each other more than anything.


End file.
